Often we get so much engulfed in answering expectation calls from people and situations surrounding us. Gradually this overwhelming feeling consumes our personal stand on things. We see situations from others’ perspective, sacrifice our own say and satisfy others’ ego on the cost of our inner happiness. But in the longer span, we all find it difficult to continue with this practice. Nothing can be poured out from an empty glass, in the same way, we can’t provide happiness and contentment if we ourselves are happiness deficient. Another psychological ailment which most of us are encountering these days is that of loneliness phobia. The present era of social media has actually created a feeling of loneliness which quickly spreads into our conscious and subconscious mind. We try to impress our friends on social media several times a day by updating about our looks, food that we eat, places where we go and people that we meet. Every update is to showcase our superiority over others, to demonstrate how happy we always are. But that’s not actually true. Wanting for validation on our pictures and updates actually pushes us in an unconscious vicious circle where we trade our authenticity for validation by people around us.
What people think about us should never be important. In Hindi there is a popular saying “sabse bada rog, kya kahenge log”. In other words, our biggest ailment is the thinking as to what people are going to think about us. The most important thing that we can do on a daily basis is to be good to ourselves first. We must be the most important person in our life. Believe it or not, this is not being selfish at all. You are not here to please and satisfy the ego of others. If it takes a no to stand for yourself, say no ASAP. It’s never bad to set your standards and respect them. Never ever feel ashamed for having high standards. If people around you have a problem with your stand, make them understand politely as to why have you taken a particular stand. Losing people should not be your intention. But if you have to trade your authenticity for unnecessary social media contacts, then there is absolutely no harm in weeding out some contacts from your phone’s contacts list.
Personally, the day I understood that I am enough for myself, and that the more your respect yourself, the more people will imitate you is the most cherished day of my life.Learn to love yourself because people’s positive or negative opinion about you does not depend on you have been all these years with them, it simply depends upon their own convenience. So why consume yourself for others’ convenience?
However good you may be, you will not be enough for the wrong person, and whatever flaws you may have, the right person will find a reason to be with you and love you. So please be easy with yourself. You are doing the best you can. Let others make some effort to stay in your life.